Category: Writers Block
As she sits in her room staring at her face,
She wonders why there are tear tracks in every place,
She wonders why love is such a test,
And she questions why she gives every guy all that is good and all of her best,
She remembers when she used to be his number one and all he ever would need,
Now she had to realize that would never again come to be,
She rests her head as the tears begin to flow,
She falls asleep feeling sad and hopes someday he will realize the diamond in his hands God happily bestowed :(
The message in this poem is good, if a bit overdone. However, the formatting leaves a lot to be desired.
Your line lengths very too much to fit into any subscribed rhyme scheme, and your A-A B-B pattern is highly predictable. That is true of most end rhymes though. You might be better served using internal rhymes, (rhyming words in the middle of the line rather than at the end), or slant rhymes, (words which nearly rhyme but not quite). It gives your poem a lot more flavor and depth.
The biggest turn off is the line length though. A poem is not just a collection of lines that all end in the same sound. If you're going to use rhyme schemes, and I encourage you not to, you have to follow a rhythm, not just a rhyme. so to have short lines at the beginning, and then go on to practically double their length by the end of what is a very short poem, throws the reader and makes the poem seem jagged and forced.
Rhyming, though they make you do it in elementary school, in actual poetry is extremely difficult to do well. When it is not done with extreme care, it can ruin the poem.